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27 November 2009 @ 07:49 pm
Title: Stick Shifts (working title)
Pairing: Ben/Kevin, Kevin/Ben
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: graphic sex, rape (eventually).
Summary: It was something I could always remember doing; curling up outside Ben's bedroom door to wait for the memories and nightmares to fade.

Chapter 1Collapse )

Current Mood: nervousnervous
27 November 2009 @ 04:05 pm

Title: South
Pairing: Joe/Kevin, Kevin/Joe
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: incest, graphic sex (eventually).
Summary: Kevin didn’t know the sound of his own name could make his toes curl. He didn’t know that in the right light his brothers eyes were purple. He didn't know what he would say if Joe moved his eyes two feet south.

Chapter 1Collapse )

27 November 2009 @ 02:12 pm
holy hell? how long has it been? since I gave a damn about this thing? I’m not sure why I’m back, because there's no point since I have a journal and a pillowbook.
maybe its just to point out that I’m alive and, falling out of love.
06 December 2008 @ 10:30 pm
have you heard the tale? i was in love for a little while and fucked somebody. but noething got fucked up...becasue i was forgiven. and then i fucked him again, and i never told anybody...except for a few. so that was love!
and it fucked with me...and now it bothers me a lot, but not in the worst kind of way...in a different way...the kind that...doesnt make me hate myself.
how fucked up is that?
21 May 2008 @ 01:07 am

            perhaps he was a villain.


I can't relax until the clock hits 4. I can't calm down, I can only, freak out.

fuck fuck fuck.

I hate that I…see things. and hear sounds, that, aren't really there. I hate this, big house. it has too many damn corners, and shadows, and small windows.

why would anybody want to live in a place like this? it has no air!

I hate it here! being…alone. it's too…much  for someone so small. all the fucking sounds!

there's no way in.

everything is locked.

why does my dad have to leave all the time…dude. I do this every night…why? what will happen will happen. I can't stop fate. so perhaps…even though I know, it's all me. what am I so afraid of? I don’t even know…

he doesn’t have a name, or a face, or anything.

but every time I hear a sound I think of him, as though he already is.

maybe that’s the problem, I keep thinking he is maybe eventually he will be! so what is it? I have to stop thinking of him, fearing, him. the him. for he is dust in my imagination, in my fear. he is not, there is only me, safe.




in a house, in a town. covered in cars, lights, noises.

I’m afraid of…no one. no one at all.

he does not exist.



Life as a House. movie I must see. movie I have time to see!

07 May 2008 @ 07:10 pm

I want to die at 27.

make something of myself. or not.

my head just under the wall of fucking greatness. it's a fucking joke.

it's some high class bullshit I can tell you that much.

why write a fucking book, spell everything wrong, mix up the r’s and t’s. the m’s and n’s.